My Coming Out Story

Much of my life is a lie. The feelings I have felt for the better part of 30 years do not align with the facts society has placed upon me. When I was young I used to pick up a glove and ball with hopes that I would feel like a boy. The reality is when I looked in the mirror, I did not feel like a boy. As a matter a  fact, I did not feel like a Caucasian American human. As I grew into adulthood I struggled to fit the mold expected of me. Get married. Have kids. Get a job. Buy a home. It was the American way.

Well folks, America is changing. The world is changing. For that reason I find strength in coming out as the real me. You may find this odd and may be tempted to share hurtful things; however, I do ask that your respect my privacy during this difficult and transitional time.

You see my whole life I have felt one with the mountains. When nobody is watching I rub my head along branches and paw at the dirt with my Danner pronghorn boots. I feel most at home while rolling around in a high mountain wallow. I like the way it cools me down and I don’t mind getting dirty for the cameras. I want to publically apologize to any hunters that may have been frightened by a trail cam picture or two. I have also issued an apology to the Sasquatch Foundation for creating so much commotion in recent months. I do not apologize for who I am; however, I do apologize for the confusion and hurt I have caused many.

I often go weeks without brushing my teeth. I love the feel of velvet on my teeth.  My wife has known about the true me for some time. It started by my relentless screaming when readying for her company. She thought it was odd at first but went along. I couldn’t talk her into the idea of joining a harem. That is ok, marriage is still about compromise. I do try to keep my bugling down but once my lip curls, it’s on. I think the neighbors are onto me. Under the cloud of darkness I often strap horns to my head and insist on eating the grass and foliage in the backyard.

The reality is I feel as though I am a bull elk. I have been a bull elk my entire life.  As a result I will now be identifying solely as a bull elk with exception to the months of August-November. I am done hiding behind the cloche of ancient societal norms. My name is Bullseye and this is my coming out story.


2 thoughts on “My Coming Out Story”

  1. This absolutely cracked me up – sorry to see that you took it off line. I had hoped to share it with some friends.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s